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Journal of No. 118


May 10th, 2014

The Stagoids, a xenological study @ 03:36 pm

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An alien species lives among us, dwelling within staged houses. They are like, and yet hideously unlike, us.

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Apparently they do not eat. More bizarrely, they do not have coffeemakers or microwaves. They do however, use knives. They also are somewhat particular that their faucets are bilaterally symmetric.

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You're right, Ray. No human would stack books like this.

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They apparently sleep seven to a bed, each with its own pillow.

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Their towels are all white and never used. Humans will be very forcefully told DO NOT USE THE TOWELS. No, you've already looked at them enough.

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They sort books by color palette and size.

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Their computers are operated via direct mind control.

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Stagoids use no lotions, hair products, deodorants or make-up. They merely take a brief sniff of a small bunch of flowers in the morning, and they are beautiful for an entire day.
 
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Journal of No. 118