1) I always put on my right sock before my left sock and my right shoe before my left shoe. If I start to do it backwards, it feels so wrong that I generally can't even go through with it. Call me superstitious, but I'm sure that if my shoes and socks were put on backwards, I would (within a few hours) transform into a goateed mirror-universe Mike.
2) I tear my fingernails and toenails. Rebecca reacts as though this habit implies that I come from some far distant culture of irrational barbarism. If the gods had intended us to use clippers or scissors or emory boards, they would grow from trees. If I notice at the piano that one of my fingernails is long enough that I get more click than touch on the keys, I notch it with an opposing fingernail and peel across. Zzzzip! Problem solved.
3) If I have plenty of time at my disposal after a shower, I air dry.
4) If I'm on foot, crossing a street, and you (in a car) ignore me and make a right turn right in front of me, I will kick your car.
5) Occasionally, if I'm walking on a sidewalk or a patterned carpet, I take care not to break mother's back by stepping on cracks or other linear figures. Or I will match stride so that I hit the pattern in the exact same place.
Now for the victims:
1)
aaronjv2)
randbot3)
stevenkaye4)
bestepisodeever5) Anyone else who compulsively does things in fives.
