No. 118 (essentialsaltes) wrote,
No. 118

Westchester Nazis. I hate Westchester Nazis.

At long last, someone has bought the library building across the street from my workplace. Meet the Los Angeles Turners: an interesting mix of gymnastics, fencing, Wagner and Germanic heritage since the 1870's. They sound like they were even more colorful back in the day, when they had rifle squads and "Butcher Boys". Oh those lovable Krauts.

In other LA history, the Pied Piper of Saipan has passed away at 80:
The 5-foot-4-inch Gabaldon used piecemeal Japanese he picked up from a childhood friend to earn the trust of the enemy, who believed his story of hundreds of looming troops. In a single day in July 1944, Gabaldon was said to have gotten about 800 Japanese soldiers to follow him back to the American camp.

In completely made-up history, a press release warns us of a Bible code presaging the nuclear destruction of the UN building before the end of the month. True scions of the scientific method, the biblical scholars "have fixed the bug in their decoding that caused their earlier mistaken predictions." This time, they've got it right. Coincidence is no longer an option! I heartily commend their PR firm for misspelling "assess" in the most appropriate way.

Apropos of *almost* nothing, you may think it's neat that July and August are named after Caesars and the following months of the year can teach you to count incorrectly in Latin. That's like 2000 years ago, man. But when we were in Turkey, we noticed that the the month was Temmuz. I wondered idly if that was related to the Babylonian/Sumerian Tammuz. In short, yes. Now that's like 5000 years ago. Take that, Gregorian Calendar! And don't get me started on why we have 60 seconds in a minute and 60 minutes in an hour.

Today MS Word suggested this as a grammatical correction for a not-very-good sentence in a report I'm working on: "Non-European firms, despite the fact that Agilent and Shimadzu manufacture in Europe, however, meet demand for chromatography instruments, overwhelmingly."
Tags: funny, la, news, religion, wordplay

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