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Journal of No. 118


October 26th, 2006

Saskatchewan needs our hotties @ 08:45 pm

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Hopefully it's just for the landscaping they've been working on, but there's policecars (hmmm... I typed 'policecats') blocking the intersection at Sepulveda and Westchester Parkway. No one (!) is being allowed to go south (towards LAX). There's a lot of angry cars in the neighborhood. And no line at In-N-Out.

Best/Saddest part of a Wall Street Journal article on the death of Myspace:
The guerrilla marketing has driven away James Kalyn, a 30-year-old technical writer in Regina, Saskatchewan. He kept receiving friend requests from half-naked female strangers through his MySpace page. Clicking on a request usually led to a profile that turned out to be an ad for a pornography site. At first, Mr. Kalyn was excited that "these hot girls allegedly wanted to be my friend." But after looking at a few profiles, he realized: "If it's a picture of someone fairly attractive, they're probably not my friend in real life."

Ouch.

Dungeons & Dragons player tried for murder after killing co-worker with homemade sword: "Roby said Flemons was obsessed with magic, fantasy, the occult, voodoo, Santeria, telekinesis and spirits." Why did none of those things make it into the headline?

notjenshiz take note: Brainiacs win lottery.

You may have heard about Michael J. Fox's campaign ad where he shakes his head and shakes his fist at those who would halt stem cell research. Apparently, there's a response ad with some jocks and some woman I never heard of. Wait, that face... Hey, it's annoying Albertson's woman! Let's see what we can... whoa, annoying Albertson's woman is Honorary Chair of Feminists for Life. And she hosts a stand-up DVD with seven comedians "who all just happen to be Christian." I mean to say, what are the odds? [Okay, it's true the Zionist conspiracy controls comedy.]
 
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[User Picture Icon]
From:popepat
Date:October 26th, 2006 09:30 pm (UTC)
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James Flemons walked into work with a homemade samurai sword and slashed his co-worker to death.

I bet when the facts of the case come out we will find that he never even rolled good enough stats to have become a Samurai Class in the first place.
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From:nephthys510
Date:October 26th, 2006 10:40 pm (UTC)
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coffee. out. nose.
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From:essentialsaltes
Date:October 26th, 2006 11:06 pm (UTC)
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The medical examiner ruled that Williams died as a result of "multiple chop wounds to the neck."

Certainly he didn't have any skill in swordmaking.
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From:nephthys510
Date:October 26th, 2006 10:04 pm (UTC)

Where to start?

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Love the icon.

James is a brainiac, himself, if it took him more than .05 seconds to come to that amazing conclusion. Fuck MySpace. God, I hate it.

Yeah for real brainiacs! Better than some slack jawed yokel. Not that I am biased against slack jawed yokels. ok, I am.

Fuck Patricia Heaton. I am now officially boycotting anything she does. Not that means anything, but fuck her.

Christian comedians? I'll skip the obvious joke. Why do Christians have to identify themselves as members of the club? I don't run around saying, "I'm Neph, atheist tech writer" "I'm Neph, belly dancing atheist" Why don't we just hyphenate everything. African-American. Christian-American. American hating-American (that's Democrat to some)
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From:ladyeuthanasia
Date:October 27th, 2006 06:31 am (UTC)

Re: Where to start?

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Christians do it as if they were stamping the word "Halal" on their foreheads so that other Christians will know they won't be "offended" by the comedy.

Actually, one of the funniest people on the planet is a "Christian" comedian named Mike Warnke who was big in the 80s. Of course, it turned out that he's a HUGE con artist who also digs booze, women and lots of other garden variety "sins." :D
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From:notjenschiz
Date:October 30th, 2006 08:46 pm (UTC)

Re: Where to start?

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booze is only a "sin" to some christians. Catholics, for instance, love both drinking and gambling :-) No one likes sex, though. Sex is clearly evil.
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From:ladyeuthanasia
Date:October 30th, 2006 09:13 pm (UTC)

Re: Where to start?

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Ah! I should have clarified he was of the fundamentalist variety. (I used to be one, which is how I know about him. Oy!)
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From:essentialsaltes
Date:October 27th, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC)

Re: Where to start?

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Why do Christians have to identify themselves as members of the club?

That way even second-rate talent can make some good money by tying into the Christian market.
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From:nephthys510
Date:October 27th, 2006 04:33 pm (UTC)

Re: Where to start?

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is there a secret handshake?

Has anyone done a cost-benefit analysis? Would it be worth my reputation to pretend?
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From:essentialsaltes
Date:October 27th, 2006 05:01 pm (UTC)

Re: Where to start?

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No secret handshake. As ladyeuthanasia pointed out, Christian media will be happy to accept you, even if you have some ridiculous story of being an ex-Satanist who found Christ. Indeed, they'd probably be excited to have an ex-atheist. Take that, Dawkins!

Would it be worth it? The self-identified Christian media market is much bigger than the self-identified atheist media market (take that, Dawkins!). But it's still a niche in the whole mass-media; and you'd have to live in that world, cosying up to your new fan-base and fellow Christian artists. If you go that route, I promise to insist loudly that you're still an atheist so that the Christian community rallies around you in support.
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From:nephthys510
Date:October 27th, 2006 05:19 pm (UTC)

Re: Where to start?

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yer the best, man
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From:ladyeuthanasia
Date:October 30th, 2006 09:21 pm (UTC)

Re: Where to start?

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Dude! Yellow and Black Attack!

(HAHAHAHAHAH!)

They threw bibles to the crowds and all the girls lusted after Michael Sweet. Then they sold out and went mainstream, which pissed off all the Christians -- and, of course, ended their career.

Those were the days.
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From:edgyspice
Date:October 26th, 2006 11:12 pm (UTC)
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I can't stop laughing at James Kalyn.

Also, Patricia Heaton is a stupid cunt.
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From:essentialsaltes
Date:October 27th, 2006 04:26 pm (UTC)
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I can't stop laughing at James Kalyn.

No kidding. I mean, I get maybe one of these spammy things a month, but I automatically assume it's spam; I've never actually clicked on the offered link. He apparently has, and now the realization of the deception and self-deception has crushed his little Canadian ego. Originally, I was going to add one of the spammy messages to my post, but I'd deleted them all, but friendster came through with one this morning:

hey Mike
Message: How's it goin? I'm Kristy, I just moved right near Inglewood and I wanna meet a nice guy around here :). I moved here a couple of weeks ago for work and now that I'm here I have nobody to hang out with! I read your profile... You're cute and I liked what you had to say :).

I'm 22/F/single and I'm lookin for a guy who is a little bit older or more mature than me. You say you're 36 and you're cute so I guess you're qualified :)

My friend Jen from back home suggested I tried using friendster to meet people in my area. I just signed up and my profile sux hehe. I do have a blog/profile page at SpammyMcSpamalot.com ... I have alot of photos and stuff up if you wanna see me.

I left you a personal msg on my homepage and I took a new pic for you today. Come check me out when you have a chance, k?

Lookin forward to seeyin ya,
Kristy

[User Picture Icon]
From:nephthys510
Date:October 27th, 2006 04:35 pm (UTC)
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DUDE!

You are SO lucky!

I bet she's really smart, too!

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From:essentialsaltes
Date:October 27th, 2006 04:51 pm (UTC)
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Nah. I'm really fussy. I don't like her wallpaper one bit.
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From:nephthys510
Date:October 27th, 2006 04:53 pm (UTC)
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thanks.

I peed a little
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From:edgyspice
Date:October 27th, 2006 05:22 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I can see why the poor girl would have to turn to the internet to meet men.

(LAFFO)
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From:notjenschiz
Date:October 30th, 2006 09:28 pm (UTC)

D&D killer

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It's too bad the guy wasn't a LARPer... he would have just run around throwing "lightning bolt" frisbees at his enemy and cursing the man's apparent immunity: electricity. Actually, I guess there's no way to know if he did try that before resorting to the sword.

Journal of No. 118