"speed of light in inches per fortnight" yields:
the speed of light = 1.42767306 × 10^16 inches per fortnight
"mass of earth times (speed of light)^2 in BTU"
mass of Earth times (the speed of light^2) = 5.0891554 × 10^38 BTU
I think Google could easily pass the first couple weeks of an introductory physics class.