Bad News: There was water coming up out of the ground near the water heater
Good News: Our good neighbors, Morningside Plumbers, came over right away
Bad News: They said it was a backed up sewer line
Good News: They could fix it by digging it up, cutting out the bad part and installing a plastic pipe with a vertical shunt for a snake.
Bad News: It would cost $900
Good News: I remembered that thing that we didn't know what it was when we did some landscaping and decided (in case it should ever become important) to put a flower pot over it to mark the spot of that thing that we didn't know what it was that looked like a plastic vertical shunt.
Bad News: The plastic vertical shunt contains monosodium benzoate.
Good News: It should be about $100 for them to use the snake to fix the problem.