"I've never seen [Criss] Angel before, so I don't know what he's like on TV. But he doesn't really do much of anything in the [live stage] show. I mean, he pulls some doves out of his sleeve, and otherwise he mainly runs around the stage and strikes poses while dressed like a Hot Topic store blew up on him."

Later: "However, something went wrong, and what we heard Mr. Angel yelling was: "'Don't use the automation, don't use the automation!' It was not the voice of a man making a casual suggestion."

The icing on the cake is that the author is professional dominatrix Mistresse Matisse.