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Journal of No. 118


August 25th, 2009

This is what a feminist looks like / Visitors / Race LA @ 01:49 pm

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Ellie Levenson crows about the first anniversary of her feminist wedding, but I'm largely underwhelmed.

The first feminist thing about our wedding was the nature of the proposal. I do not believe that men have to propose to women

Right on! The man doesn't have to propose. Let's turn convention on its head, and have her propose!

but neither did I feel comfortable proposing myself.

Oh, ok. Well, maybe they can dispense with the whole 'proposal' thing. It's corrosive of true equality.

After many conversations about whether we would get married, and, in fact, after we had provisionally booked our venue, I insisted on a proposal.

Um, so men in general don't have to, but your man does have to. I see. I guess it's like Stan/Loretta's right to have babies in Life of Brian. Your fiance has to propose, but you can still derive great satisfaction from your principled support of his right not to.
OK, OK. It's a sham proposal since the verdict was in, but I still find it hard to think of this as striking a blow for feminism, unless feminism really is all about insisting that men get on their knees when you insist on it. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Asking my dad for my hand in marriage was not going to happen either

My lack-of-gods! Can such radical feminism be allowed to flourish unopposed?


Lots of visitors this weekend.
Chunzelle were very welcome to pizza & absinthe on Friday
Saturday, there were many non-dairy Creamers big and small, along with ian_tiberius over for hamburgers and hotdogs and garden produce and such.
And all weekend long, there were many thousands of unwelcome six-legged visitors. Boo.


Race LA is on two dates: October 3rd AND October 17th (either, not both). It's $170 per team of two (before September 12th). I enjoyed winning the smaller CityRace, so I'm definitely considering it. Any prospective teammates out there?
 
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From:ian_tiberius
Date:August 25th, 2009 10:07 pm (UTC)
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Definitely in for Race/LA. Either date is fine although the 3rd works better for me.
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From:ian_tiberius
Date:August 26th, 2009 04:48 am (UTC)
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doh. Just realized Oct. 3rd won't work at all for me. Let me know if you're interested in playing on the 17th.
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From:rizwank
Date:August 27th, 2009 07:33 am (UTC)
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I'm in for Race LA too. And if I can't, maybe that Rizwan Khan guy.
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From:essentialsaltes
Date:August 31st, 2009 08:52 pm (UTC)
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Race LA only allows teams of two, so I think Ian and I are teaming up, leaving you in the lurch. Sorry bout that.
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From:essentialsaltes
Date:September 3rd, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
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OK, Ian scheduled his East Coast trip across both dates, so I'm again looking for a partner. Are you still free, or have you found a buddy?
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From:essentialsaltes
Date:August 31st, 2009 08:51 pm (UTC)
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Okay, I think we're on for the 17th. Do you have a suggestion for team name? I was thinking "Directed Panspermia", but that's only the one I like best after twenty seconds of thought.
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From:hagdirt
Date:August 26th, 2009 01:21 am (UTC)
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Man, if I examined everything so thoroughly for "non-feminist" content as she does, I wouldn't make it out of the house in the morning. And "insisting on a proposal" seems to be, alas, too common to be radical anything, these days. (For the record: I proposed. Business, not romance - we're not kidding when we said we did it for the health insurance.)
From:aaronjv
Date:August 26th, 2009 09:37 am (UTC)
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Really, you proposed? I thought you just wanted a joint bank account, and I took it further.

Is it feminist if I don't remember who exactly asked? And how feminist is it to stay with a guy eleven years without a ring?

I do remember that the big question was prompted by getting me a vehicle. The need for a car joined us in unHoly Matrimony.
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From:hagdirt
Date:August 26th, 2009 04:06 pm (UTC)
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Well, somebody proposed. Apparently it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Is it feminist if I don't remember who exactly asked? And how feminist is it to stay with a guy eleven years without a ring?

Dunno. As I said, I don't read life that thoroughly for feminist content.
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From:essentialsaltes
Date:August 26th, 2009 04:14 pm (UTC)
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And how feminist is it to stay with a guy eleven years without a ring?

Are you implying that it is feminist to have your body bought with a trinket? Surely she can make up her own damn mind without any payment changing hands.

[oh, and for a trip down memory lane... I proposed]

Journal of No. 118