No. 118 (essentialsaltes) wrote,
No. 118

More from the Scrapbook Files

Wow. I thought I was going to transcribe a lot of this, but some of it is so embarrassing, that I'm closer to burning than transcribing it. This one mortified my mother... but I'm proud of my analogy:

"My pet's name is Tai. She is my cat, and she is playful. One thing that's humorous about her she chases the dog around, And I go to bed she jumps up starts purrrrrring and it sounds like somebody is blowing farts then she puts her claws out and starts combing my hair."

My Pet Monster [1976]
My Pet monster is called a zitto a zitto is harmless unless it gets dry, it lives under-water. it gets fangs when its dry. That's all I can tell you now I have to study it more.

[accompanied by a crayon drawing of the wormlike zitto in a water filled bowl, and a zitto that has leapt out of the water and, thus, has fangs]

[In response to an elaborate prompt as though you were a missing person. 1978]

[Why are you missing?] I'm missing because of my mother hasn't given me any of my allowance for a month. Also my report card hasn't been paid for. It's true too. [bet mom loved that one, too!]
[What habits do you have that might help recognize you?] He picks fingernails, makes "Mork" noises and picks teeth.
[Where might you be found?] A rock concert, especially a Kiss concert. A McDonalds restaurant. Hang out at school and beat up some enemies of mine...
[What things would you be likely to do?] I would play games, walk around and pet cats and dogs ... I would get a small job for people to make money to support myself.

[What are you going to be when you grow up? 1978]

I'm going to be a well known astronomer.
I would like to work for the Yerkes Observatory in Wisconsin, which is the largest refracting telescope in the world.
First I would have to get a degree in some subjects such as mathematics, space and stars. Then I would have to go to the observatory to se if I could get a job there.
I would probably start with easy things, studying the planets (probably Jupiter), watching pulsating, variable and pulsar stars. Later I will use a spectroscope, prisms, photographic plates and watch quasars and planets phases and conjunction.
I might even discover a new planet or make a new scientific law or something else.

[If ____ Could Talk - 1979?]
The Earth
Yuck! I bet you'd never guess what it's like to be a planet. Two-thirds of you is coverd by water and this moon keeps trying to get away. [ooh possible Space: 1999 ref]
Also I hate those funny two-legged things that dump garbage and radioactive vrud on you. Also they dig in you and take your minerals out. When I get mad, I can make a volcano or earthquake.
Also I hate Jupiter and Saturn because they pick on me. But I say, "Pick on someone your own size!"

Christmas is a time for giving [December 1980(?)]
This Christmas I'm going to give my parents some Christmas cards and a small present. When I get my gifts, I'm not going to say, oh, I wish I got this instead, or, that present is stupid. I'll just like what I get and now want more. I wish my whole family could be at our house. But our nearest relatives live 725 miles away.

Creative Writing [1980?]

My friend and I were trick-or-treating and we came to a big mansion. We walked up the old courtyard. I began to use the doorknocker, it turned into a bat! So I knocked on the door. It was unlocked. So we checked out the hallway. We found the kitchen which was dark and musty. I yelled when I saw blood running out of the sink. We went into the dining room and saw a decapitated person seated at the table. There was a pot with a lid on it at the table. I opened it and saw the man's head in it. ...

[Selected entries from the autograph book of the elementary school graduating class - 1980]
To a computer that is never wrong - Jeff Constanzo
To a nice guy that everybody likes - Lisa
To the computer! - Janel
To a "great brain" who plays the trombone decent. - Jimmy
To a real fag. Just kidden. - Pat Jensen

[A ribbon for being a participant in the 35th Days of the Verdugos Parade in Glendale.]

[letter from the Board of Education - 1986]
... I would like to congratulate you on winning the physics contest. We are proud of you for having one of the top three scores in our area. Your achievement has also provided Brea-Olinda High School with a laser. On behalf of our future high school students, we thank you.

[letter from the La Habra Lodge of the BPOE, naming me the student of the month]

[11th grade English paper on "Change in the English Language". My bibliography includes Piers Anthony, James Burke's Connections, Tolkien, and TH White's The Once and Future King.]
Tags: bio, nostalgia, wordplay

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