So our lending agent, Perry, is a big fat fuck who does fuck-all, as far as we can tell. We're already going to be late closing escrow, but fortunately, the seller is ok with this. Anyway, today in the mail, we get this huge wad of papers from the bank with loan information, and everything is totally cockeyed. The loan amount is wrong, the loan plan is wrong, there are enormous (like 5%) 'loan initiation fees' in addition to many other fees, so that the total closing costs are something like 17K, outside of the down-payment which is another 17K or so at 5%. Except, of course, that the loan amount is wrong, and everything is set up for a 20% downpayment. So reading the paperwork as it stands, we would have to suddenly come up with $85,000 in the next week or so.
Worst. Feeling. Ever.
I unleash a barely restrained message onto Perry's voice-mail, and eventually we get in touch with him. Evidently, all is still well. This paperwork is all bullshit, according to Perry. Apparently, it's just some clever ruse in order to get the rest of the house financed. I'm still not sure that Perry doesn't have his head up his butt. So keep your fingers crossed for us -- or give us $80,000. Either will do.