"Look, we've tried, we really have, but it's simply not possible to set the bar any lower," said a visibly exhausted [channel CEO] Bunting, adding that he "could not in good conscience" make science any more mindless or insultingly juvenile. "We already have a show called Really Big Things..."

A survey of the network's current schedule confirmed Monday that on-air demonstrations of such basic scientific principles as "inertia" and "momentum" are mostly relegated to pushing a blindfolded participant strapped to an office chair down a steep hill, while other concepts, such as "sublimation," are regularly demonstrated by strapping dynamite to a large fiberglass Big Boy statue...

"I don't like it when the science people talk about things no one can even understand," said [a viewer]. "It's like, just quit your yapping and dip the chainsaw into the liquid nitrogen already."