And then a big BOO! to VALIC [formerly AIG VALIC, but they dropped the AIG, when that association would even sully VALIC's name] who administers the retirement account from NDA, where I worked for one year and racked up a paltry sum. I have a desire to perform the same rollover transaction, but have been stymied on several occasions. A couple years ago, I called the person who administers the account at VALIC. She said, 'no problem' just use ETRADE's system to request the rollover transfer. This sounds great. I go to ETRADE, fill out some forms, send off the request. Then get a message back 'Unable to process at this time.' I try to sort out the mess, and am finally led to the conclusion that VALIC person #1 didn't know what she was talking about. What I need, is a properly filled out form from VALIC. Which requires my signature, my wife's signature -- notarized -- to prove I'm not swindling her out of her fair share of the $800, which might have sheltered her in her dotage after I'm gone, if only I hadn't moved the money from a retirement account with one company to a retirement account with a different company, AND the signature of the plan administrator at NDA. Sadly, I fall for VALIC's trap and get discouraged and give up.
But encouraged by my excellent interaction with Fidelity, a company not unlike a mixture of kittens and unicorns in the deep affection and great esteem I feel for it, I tried again with VALIC, calling not the incompetent plan administrator, but the general line. VALIC person #2 beats out #1 by following her flowchart relentlessly to -- The Form -- which she emails to me. She does at least give me the name of the person at NDA who needs to sign the form. Or at least she tries. "It's Hope, no Pope Beauwaeauoy. That's B-A-Y-H-A-Y." I guess I'm just glad she didn't say Pope Benedict. Anyway, it appears the name I want is actually Hope Bowhay.
But I am going to make this happen. Despite everything VALIC throws in my way. I am going to get my money from VALIC!
But let this be a warning to all and sundry! Do not patronize VALIC. Do not warn VALIC of oncoming cars. Do not pee on VALIC if VALIC is on fire. VALIC is composed of slugs and nightsoil.
(The foregoing opinions are uttered with satiric intent and do not allow VALIC to keep my money or take more of it.)