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Journal of No. 118


April 25th, 2004

Return of the Book Fair @ 06:24 pm

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Backtrack to yesterday... Somehow I forgot to mention that we went to a yard sale around the corner from us. We picked up some cheap plastic chairs for the backyard. and. a. CHAINSAW. It feels really good to heft it in your hands. It's electric, so not only does it not pollute, but my streak of mayhem is limited by the 50' extension cord.

Okay, on to today. In the morning, Rebecca continued her stucco repair project for a bit. Then we went off to IKEA, where treasures with unusual names awaited us. We picked up a little table for the porch, a bigger folding table for backyard BBQ's (like our planned Independence Day party for July 3rd) some little shelves for the corner of the kitchen and some IVAR for the garage.
Like the gentleman I am, I left Rebecca to construct the furniture, while I went back to UCLA for the Festival of Books. I went to see Neal Stephenson. In some alternate universe, William Gibson would have signed 3 items, while Stephenson signed 5. As it was, it was the other way around, so I got all 3 of my Gibsons signed, but only 3 of the 5 Stephensons I brought. It was difficult to prioritize which to get signed. It was obvious that my 1st edition of _The Big U_ had to be signed. If you combine The Big U with Real Genius, you basically get an accurate picture of my undergraduate years at UCLA. In addition to that one, I picked Zodiac and my hb first of Crypto-nome-icon. Stephenson has a silly beard and about as much hair as Aaron had two days after Tarnished Chrome.
I picked up a copy of Harryhausen's book _An Animated Life_. They had a stack of signed ones left, but those were the absolute last of the first printing that Vagabond Books could get. So I had a distributed book signing. I shook Harryhausen's hand yesterday, and got the signed book today. Of the two Rays, I think Harryhausen has probably had a larger impact on my life than Bradbury.
I also found a book of historic photos of LA that I liked.
There was a booth full of manga with a couple girls dressed as characters, in order to draw in the pederast crowd. but the coolest thing was the "largest crossword puzzle in the world". It was designed for kids, and there were huge 3-D plastic letters about three feet across, that the kids were arranging on this huge crossword grid laid out on the ground. it was like live chess, only (unfortunately) there was no live combat between crumb-grabbers to determine who would win.
Got back home and helped out with the construction of IVAR and a little bit of the folding table. The garage is now far more organized than before, though it is still a lair of spiders.
Rebecca and I have a tradition that building IKEA furniture calls for margaritas (since odds are 50-50 that a piece is missing, or a hole hasn't been drilled) so I've got one by my side. I also washed the dishes and rolled out a pizza crust, and soon the evening will be completed with pizza, a movie, and some of our Santa Barbara wine (as a reward for all the work that we (i.e. Rebecca) have done this weekend.
 
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From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 26th, 2004 01:18 am (UTC)

Hmmm...

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If I possessed you and lived your life, Mike, would Rebecca kill me? And if yes, how soon after body snatching?
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 26th, 2004 11:44 am (UTC)

Re: Hmmm...

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Depends how good at pretending to be Mike you may or may not be, Mr./Ms. Anonymous. If Mike apparently suffered only a mild schizophrenic break during which he drooled profusely while fondling his signed first editions and then sat on the porch drinking a margarita while videotaping me assembling ikea furniture in shorts and tank top, that wouldn't be too unusual and you'd get away with it. Of course, you'd also have to do the dishes and tidy up regularly, or I might get suspicious, and then, well, consider that I have a chainsaw and know what has to be done with pod-people.

BTW, Ikea furniture sucks much more than it used to--a piece broke straight out of the package, and it's lucky that I have wood glue so I could glue it back. Mike ungratefully doesn't mention that I also selflessly washed birdshit off his car so he didn't have to zoom around LA, cursing out other drivers from behind a quarter inch of baked-on poo.
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From:essentialsaltes
Date:April 26th, 2004 02:31 pm (UTC)

Re: Hmmm...

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She's given her own answer (and provided some helpful hints for impersonators) but I want to stress the whole chainsaw thing. For a couple months, she's been fascinated by the idea of hacking off limbs in the backyard with a chainsaw, and she may not be too particular about species.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 27th, 2004 01:34 am (UTC)

HA HA HA

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I think I could pull off the impersonation (at home, not at the job--that involves science), but then, I'd still always have the fear that she'd up and chop me anyways.

In fact, I believe that Mike-possession will still not be enough to save me from being killed horribly by a cackling Rebecca.
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From:rsheslin
Date:April 27th, 2004 10:59 am (UTC)

Re: HA HA HA

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If I remember correctly, one of the rules of Enigma live gaming is to kill Rebecca. Doesn't matter the game -- she's going to be evil.

Of course, the same could have been true about Aaron, until he actually played that Galahad role straight....
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 27th, 2004 03:17 pm (UTC)

Re: HA HA HA

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Actually, I think the one that threw everyone off was when I played Harry Hoidini straight (Mike's awesome "23 Skiddoo" game). I try to mix it up so people don't get too comfortable with me.

But yeah, if you're trapped on a desert island with Rebecca, eat her first...even if you're not hungry.

(someone else said that)
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 27th, 2004 03:30 pm (UTC)

Re: HA HA HA

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You know, I can't decide whether this kind of thing means people don't like me...or they like me TOO much (in the wrong way).

As Jessica Rabbit says: "I'm not evil, I'm just drawn that way."
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 27th, 2004 08:54 pm (UTC)

Re: HA HA HA

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Think of it as a remarkable compliment. Your superiority is so obvious that the only recourse is homicide.

Of course, the person who made the comment originally now denies doing so, so there may just be a lot of fear involved.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 1st, 2004 10:20 am (UTC)

Re: HA HA HA

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It doesn't mean we don't like you, it just means you're deadly evil.

People seem to tolerate obnoxious incompetents (i.e., moi), so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Unless you get stuck on a desert island with us.

Whereas I'm like Gilligan, you're like Dr. Smith. Except you don't sexually abuse your underage co-star. I don't think.
From:stevenkaye
Date:April 28th, 2004 12:44 pm (UTC)
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It's electric, so not only does it not pollute, but my streak of mayhem is limited by the 50' extension cord.

This is why some of us are impatient for fuel cell research to bear fruit.

Journal of No. 118