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Journal of No. 118

May 6th, 2004

From plant death to the jakes @ 12:30 pm

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Toren may want to avert his eyes. Today was Operation Clean Sweep in Inglewood. You can throw out as much trash as you like. As long as you put a saucer of milk on the front step, the garbage fairies will whisk it all away.

We had probably ten giant black 55 gallon barrel-shaped trashbags full of vegetable matter. Some were filled with some of the remaining leaves from the backyard, others were filled with stuff pulled from the planters, some from the ash saplings that grow everywhere (including out of the house) that Rebecca cut down with the shears. And one big tree that Rebecca and I got the chainsaw out for. Sawdust a-flying, we got it cut down and dismembered for easy disposal.

This morning, I heroically used a bent coathanger to pull a goopy hair-clot out of the shower drain. Before it escaped to wreak havoc elsewhere, I flushed it down the john.

Y'know, a lot of people named John don't really care to be a euphemism for toilet. Not that my heart bleeds for them, or anything, but it seems strange to have settled on that. It used to be jack or jakes in centuries past, but in America it has mutated to john, the first known usage stemming from Harvard. Maybe this is why John F. Kennedy was called Jack. And so, from jack to jakes to john to jack, we've now come full circle, but haven't we all learned a little something?
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Date:May 6th, 2004 03:56 pm (UTC)
interesting that you would fish a big hair clot from one source of plumbing and place it in another.
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Date:May 7th, 2004 02:04 pm (UTC)

You mean to say that you normally can't throw out as much trash as you like?
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Date:May 7th, 2004 02:45 pm (UTC)
Why? Rebecca didn't like that tree, so it had to die. Someday she won't like me anymore, and she'll bite my head off or something.

You can only fill up your trashcan. I guess if you regularly throw out more than that, you can pay to get another trashcan.
Date:May 7th, 2004 04:23 pm (UTC)

the tree was evil, evil I tell you

In this case, it wasn't a VERY big tree-it was about 15 feet tall. It was an ash tree, like the spectacular, gorgeous, 60' ash tree out front that drops leaves all over our lawn for 2 months a year. Which means this tree would one day have been 60 feet tall, and trust me it was in the wrong place for that. It was 1 foot from the retaining wall, and its roots ran under the neighbor's property. Also, it had decided to grow up through an italian cypress bush, thus cleverly making itself more difficult to eradicate and forming a hideous hybrid ash-cypress monster. So that's why it had to go. It's not quite as cut down as I want it to be, actually--we just chopped it off at the height of the top of the bush. One day soon, I'll have to try to get the remaining 4 feet of trunk. See, the problem is that the people who owned our property didn't do very much maintenance for a long time. They let stuff grow wherever it seeded itself, they scattered random chunks of stone and brick across the backyard, they left broken glass and rusty nails in the flowerbeds as little surprises for the unwary gardener, they planted random unattractive plants in random unattractive places with no regard for what the future result would look like, they let grass grow everywhere and the lawn go to weeds. So there's plent of stuff that needs doing and even more that needs undoing. I'd love it if the result of neglect looked like 'the secret garden' but what it really looks like is a pit. But any plant lovers are more than welcome to come down, lend us their expertise, and pitch in on the yard work!

Journal of No. 118